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I Worry Too…a lot

I am beginning to think that my middle name is “Worry” or maybe I should have been called “Worriette”. As my Christmas break is coming to an end, reflecting on how much time I spent worrying rather than doing has enveloped me. With pangs of regret, I know exactly what I could have been doing in those times I spent worrying. Those times can never be replaced and in the months to come, I have to compensate for my wasted time by forcing my remaining tasks into my busy class schedule. All of this is making me rethink my life and some of my decisions. I’m sure you’re thinking “noo you’ve worked pretty hard” or “come on, Memkoh, you’re being too hard on yourself”, but the truth is that I have to be this hard on myself. No one else will. On Thursday, I was thinking of how I could do things better for this blog and my new styling empire, StyledbyMemkoh™. I was worried that I hadn’t gotten any appointments from couples to style their pre-wedding photo sessions and wondered why my personal shopping service wasn’t moving. I was worried that things were not selling fast on my store, The African Fascinator and thought of how I could re-stock it more often, or even better, hire more artisans for faster and increased output. I was wondering what I could change and what has to go completely. And of course, I worried about school, the worry that never ends. For my blog, I thought of other bloggers I had seen who didn’t connect with their audience as much as I did. I wondered if this was the problem, if responding to comments made it seem like I had too much time on my hands and if the practice of snubbing comments would elevate my work somehow. You know it seems like when someone is hard to reach, they are more valuable. So I thought of doing that. I knew I also had to blog more because my blog outputs have declined considerably. If you wondered why, it is because I have hated all the themes I switched to. At least once a month for the past 5 months, I have changed my blog layout. Unsatisfied with their looks, I reverted to an earlier layout some of you might recognize. As it turns out, it does not feel the same. Going back to this theme – no matter how awesome it was to me back then – basically signals stagnation. Needless to say, my search continues.

It sounds like I’m seriously complaining, right? Now can you imagine how my thoughts have been raging in the past few months? To make it worse, I didn’t spend any of the major holidays last year: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, with my family so that definitely made me sad. Of course, it was extremely relaxing spending those holidays in bed and who knows what the coming years will bring? I might have so much running around to do that I will look back at 2014 as the Golden Year. This perspective totally put my mind at ease.

Now, back to my blogerries (blog worries), I blame no one but myself, for looking around and suddenly comparing my blog to other blogs (in terms of image clarity of style posts). I never used to look around. When I started blogging, I did absolutely no field market research, no study of current blogs, no comparisons. In fact, I visit blogs now more often than I ever did. The moment I started noticing crisp and clear pictures shot in nice places – blame Instagram, I lost all confidence in my blog pictures. Even my articles section suffered too; I wrote articles but never published them.

In the middle of all my worrying, in the middle of my decision to change the way I connect with people who value my work, God spoke to me and I now believe that has shut up all my worries. It was quick and very unexpected. He said “How do you think you got to where you are and why are you in a rush to where you are going?”

He said “How do you think you got to where you are and why are you in a rush to where you are going?”

That last bit “Why are you in a rush to where you are going?” stung so badly because I was recently discussing with my friends how today’s millennials want everything to happen at lightning speed, including their successes, so it hurt to know that I was slowly getting to this point. When I spoke with MyStyleOasis this Tuesday, we both discussed our blog photographer headache then realized that the renowned bloggers we know had pretty “struggle” beginnings. On getting off the phone with her, it occurred to me that we didn’t have to look that far. We had both come a pretty long way which goes back to “How do you think you got to where you are…” These admonitions left me feeling guilty but overall, I felt relieved and in awe of God, His listening ears, His calming voice and His soothing words.

I know I am not the only one who worries this much. I know you worry too, about things you have done and what you are yet to do, about plans that you have probably shared with your friends and/or family and those you cannot even share like I just did. I shared this because I believe that God didn’t just give me those words to keep to myself. I pray that we can all apply this to our lives.

Expect a change because I have decided to stop looking around and stop comparing my blog, even in the slightest way to others. All I am striving for is to be better than my last self.

Stop looking around, stop comparing yourself to others (I can’t even believe I did this). Just stop worrying.

Have a blessed weekend.

Regards,
A Former Woriette

  • Comments ( 28 )

  • avatar

    Thanks for this….Love your blog theme it’s so cute…This spoke to me, just left my job to pursue fashion and it’s looking like I made a mistake. But I’m trusting God all the way

    • avatar

      Awww many thanks, Cynim. I just might keep this layout for a few more months. I’m happy this post spoke to you. Leaving your job must have been a huge decision to make and I pray for God’s guidance all the way! Good luck 🙂 and don’t fret if your success doesn’t come overnight. Every stitch you’ll make is in its way a success.

  • avatar

    Thanks for this….Love your blog theme it’s so cute…This spoke to me, just left my job to pursue fashion and it’s looking like I made a mistake. But I’m trusting God all the way

    • avatar

      Awww many thanks, Cynim. I just might keep this layout for a few more months. I’m happy this post spoke to you. Leaving your job must have been a huge decision to make and I pray for God’s guidance all the way! Good luck 🙂 and don’t fret if your success doesn’t come overnight. Every stitch you’ll make is in its way a success.

  • avatar

    Thanks for this….Love your blog theme it’s so cute…This spoke to me, just left my job to pursue fashion and it’s looking like I made a mistake. But I’m trusting God all the way

    • avatar

      Awww many thanks, Cynim. I just might keep this layout for a few more months. I’m happy this post spoke to you. Leaving your job must have been a huge decision to make and I pray for God’s guidance all the way! Good luck 🙂 and don’t fret if your success doesn’t come overnight. Every stitch you’ll make is in its way a success.

  • avatar

    Thanks for this….Love your blog theme it’s so cute…This spoke to me, just left my job to pursue fashion and it’s looking like I made a mistake. But I’m trusting God all the way

    • avatar

      Awww many thanks, Cynim. I just might keep this layout for a few more months. I’m happy this post spoke to you. Leaving your job must have been a huge decision to make and I pray for God’s guidance all the way! Good luck 🙂 and don’t fret if your success doesn’t come overnight. Every stitch you’ll make is in its way a success.

  • avatar

    […] fed up I am with Winter. I hate this gloominess that somehow seeped into my mood (see previous post “I Worry Too…a lot“) *folds arms and protests like a […]

  • avatar

    […] fed up I am with Winter. I hate this gloominess that somehow seeped into my mood (see previous post “I Worry Too…a lot“) *folds arms and protests like a […]

  • avatar

    […] fed up I am with Winter. I hate this gloominess that somehow seeped into my mood (see previous post “I Worry Too…a lot“) *folds arms and protests like a […]

  • avatar

    […] fed up I am with Winter. I hate this gloominess that somehow seeped into my mood (see previous post “I Worry Too…a lot“) *folds arms and protests like a […]

  • avatar

    ubuwan@gmail.com

    Don’t fret and don’t compare! In anything in life. Yes, easier said than done but so glad you’ve resolved to do so. Keep doing your thing! It’s already written 🙂

    • avatar

      Awwww! Aunty Uby thank you. Your words are always so encouraging. It is written; I agree! <3

  • avatar

    ubuwan@gmail.com

    Don’t fret and don’t compare! In anything in life. Yes, easier said than done but so glad you’ve resolved to do so. Keep doing your thing! It’s already written 🙂

    • avatar

      Awwww! Aunty Uby thank you. Your words are always so encouraging. It is written; I agree! <3

  • avatar

    ubuwan@gmail.com

    Don’t fret and don’t compare! In anything in life. Yes, easier said than done but so glad you’ve resolved to do so. Keep doing your thing! It’s already written 🙂

    • avatar

      Awwww! Aunty Uby thank you. Your words are always so encouraging. It is written; I agree! <3

  • avatar

    ubuwan@gmail.com

    Don’t fret and don’t compare! In anything in life. Yes, easier said than done but so glad you’ve resolved to do so. Keep doing your thing! It’s already written 🙂

    • avatar

      Awwww! Aunty Uby thank you. Your words are always so encouraging. It is written; I agree! <3

  • avatar

    Memsy, I go through this a lot – and truth be told, I only just found a way to start dealing with it. Like you said, the thing about worry is that it ‘paralyzes,’ causing procrastination – and then puts you in a tight spot where you become even more critical of yourself.
    I have found that the remedy to this is to treat yourself with love. If you are worried about not spending time with family, remind yourself that that is because you love them (and your worries are a testament to your good nature), if you are worried about your blog and fashion services, well that’s because you want to be a great fashionista and you have big dreams.

    When I think about it like that, I realise that worrying is often a reflection of care – and it prevents me from getting too down on myself. It also gives me the confidence to do the things that could help me stop worrying, like read the bible, or even continue procrastinating – knowing that things will be ok.

    Worrying in not inherently bad, and procrastination is only procrastination when you blame yourself for doing something when you *should* have been doing something else. Remember, you are the one who defines “should.” If you think you should be doing what you are doing, then procrastination ceases to exist.

    Finally, be sure to reach out to people if you find yourself in a hole. Sometimes we can’t get out of these things on our own; sometimes we need someone else to bolster us back out of worry; and sometimes simply sharing is enough to make our worries seem trivial.

    Worry is not inherently evil, but too much of anything isn’t good for anyone. Make sure to tone it down, if it starts leading you towards despair.

    Wishing you all the best in your endeavours…
    – Damola M.

    • avatar

      Wow! I’m going to keep coming back to read this whenever I ever find myself in a similar situation. Thank you again for your insightful and honest words. I truly appreciate it and I’m sure anyone else who stumbles upon this will appreciate it too.

  • avatar

    Memsy, I go through this a lot – and truth be told, I only just found a way to start dealing with it. Like you said, the thing about worry is that it ‘paralyzes,’ causing procrastination – and then puts you in a tight spot where you become even more critical of yourself.
    I have found that the remedy to this is to treat yourself with love. If you are worried about not spending time with family, remind yourself that that is because you love them (and your worries are a testament to your good nature), if you are worried about your blog and fashion services, well that’s because you want to be a great fashionista and you have big dreams.

    When I think about it like that, I realise that worrying is often a reflection of care – and it prevents me from getting too down on myself. It also gives me the confidence to do the things that could help me stop worrying, like read the bible, or even continue procrastinating – knowing that things will be ok.

    Worrying in not inherently bad, and procrastination is only procrastination when you blame yourself for doing something when you *should* have been doing something else. Remember, you are the one who defines “should.” If you think you should be doing what you are doing, then procrastination ceases to exist.

    Finally, be sure to reach out to people if you find yourself in a hole. Sometimes we can’t get out of these things on our own; sometimes we need someone else to bolster us back out of worry; and sometimes simply sharing is enough to make our worries seem trivial.

    Worry is not inherently evil, but too much of anything isn’t good for anyone. Make sure to tone it down, if it starts leading you towards despair.

    Wishing you all the best in your endeavours…
    – Damola M.

    • avatar

      Wow! I’m going to keep coming back to read this whenever I ever find myself in a similar situation. Thank you again for your insightful and honest words. I truly appreciate it and I’m sure anyone else who stumbles upon this will appreciate it too.

  • avatar

    Memsy, I go through this a lot – and truth be told, I only just found a way to start dealing with it. Like you said, the thing about worry is that it ‘paralyzes,’ causing procrastination – and then puts you in a tight spot where you become even more critical of yourself.
    I have found that the remedy to this is to treat yourself with love. If you are worried about not spending time with family, remind yourself that that is because you love them (and your worries are a testament to your good nature), if you are worried about your blog and fashion services, well that’s because you want to be a great fashionista and you have big dreams.

    When I think about it like that, I realise that worrying is often a reflection of care – and it prevents me from getting too down on myself. It also gives me the confidence to do the things that could help me stop worrying, like read the bible, or even continue procrastinating – knowing that things will be ok.

    Worrying in not inherently bad, and procrastination is only procrastination when you blame yourself for doing something when you *should* have been doing something else. Remember, you are the one who defines “should.” If you think you should be doing what you are doing, then procrastination ceases to exist.

    Finally, be sure to reach out to people if you find yourself in a hole. Sometimes we can’t get out of these things on our own; sometimes we need someone else to bolster us back out of worry; and sometimes simply sharing is enough to make our worries seem trivial.

    Worry is not inherently evil, but too much of anything isn’t good for anyone. Make sure to tone it down, if it starts leading you towards despair.

    Wishing you all the best in your endeavours…
    – Damola M.

    • avatar

      Wow! I’m going to keep coming back to read this whenever I ever find myself in a similar situation. Thank you again for your insightful and honest words. I truly appreciate it and I’m sure anyone else who stumbles upon this will appreciate it too.

  • avatar

    Memsy, I go through this a lot – and truth be told, I only just found a way to start dealing with it. Like you said, the thing about worry is that it ‘paralyzes,’ causing procrastination – and then puts you in a tight spot where you become even more critical of yourself.
    I have found that the remedy to this is to treat yourself with love. If you are worried about not spending time with family, remind yourself that that is because you love them (and your worries are a testament to your good nature), if you are worried about your blog and fashion services, well that’s because you want to be a great fashionista and you have big dreams.

    When I think about it like that, I realise that worrying is often a reflection of care – and it prevents me from getting too down on myself. It also gives me the confidence to do the things that could help me stop worrying, like read the bible, or even continue procrastinating – knowing that things will be ok.

    Worrying in not inherently bad, and procrastination is only procrastination when you blame yourself for doing something when you *should* have been doing something else. Remember, you are the one who defines “should.” If you think you should be doing what you are doing, then procrastination ceases to exist.

    Finally, be sure to reach out to people if you find yourself in a hole. Sometimes we can’t get out of these things on our own; sometimes we need someone else to bolster us back out of worry; and sometimes simply sharing is enough to make our worries seem trivial.

    Worry is not inherently evil, but too much of anything isn’t good for anyone. Make sure to tone it down, if it starts leading you towards despair.

    Wishing you all the best in your endeavours…
    – Damola M.

    • avatar

      Wow! I’m going to keep coming back to read this whenever I ever find myself in a similar situation. Thank you again for your insightful and honest words. I truly appreciate it and I’m sure anyone else who stumbles upon this will appreciate it too.

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