I think the word is a shitty place for women.A very good friend of mine and I were chatting on the train a while ago. We tried figuring out the amount of guys a girl could sleep with before she became a “slut” or girls a guy could sleep with before he achieved “player” status. My friend felt girls should have a number low enough that they could be counted on one hand. On the flip slide, men were allowed as many as a very low double digit number. While I do not believe women should sleep around, guys should not either. What makes it ok for a man to sleep with a double digit worth of women whereas a girl cannot? It sickens me! They both could use a little less sleeping around.
Let’s even out the playing field.
When I have my own children, by God’s grace, I am never going to tell my daughter that she should learn to cook so that she can feed her husband. I will remind her that she will one day live alone and would need to cater for herself. I am going to tell her to cook to survive, plain and simple. I am going to say to my son, “As I enter the kitchen, you better be there so you can learn to cook for yourself”. But I will never tie cooking to some form of marital merit. Cooking for your family should be an added plus and not because of lousy gender roles.
I have spent a considerable amount of time in the past couple of months talking to my guy friends and these are what I have been told, learned or observed. Some men want to marry a woman who is in great shape (oya, carry yourself to the gym); they want a woman with substantial boobs (start saving up for plastic surgery or give up); a woman who has a huge derriere (Brazilian butt augmentation is always an option); great culinary skills; submissive; light or dark skin; tall or short.
Then they look at your intellectual credentials, smart or dumb (by the way, you cannot be on the extreme side of both because you might be intimidating or out of the question). This is a lot to deal with!
I am glad I grew up in a house where chores were not assigned based on sex. I washed the cars, my brother swept and vice versa. All these things I thought were “insignificant” in my childhood turned out to be a huge deal as I grew older. Society attempts to infer that women have “a place”. Who created these rules?
But at the end of the day, “Rules were made to be broken” and that is exactly what I have been doing. I am a rule breaker to the core as I do not sit around waiting for the world to dictate how I should act. In doing this, I am probably going to get a wave of negativity from people. I still think the world is a shitty place for women but to thrive, you have to make your own path. Just look at Beyoncé and Oprah.
By: Adesola Oje