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Understanding Your Children

From my personal experiences and observations, I have come to the conclusion that parents sometimes take their children for granted. So if you’re a parent or an aspiring parent reading this, please take notes.
Do you remember that spoiled kid in your class who got everything he/she wanted? You probably think the parents were just extremely rich and as such could afford to buy the child anything and everything. Wrong! Well, not always. There are children out there who know how to extort money from their parents, even when the parents have little to nothing. But the parents part with that gift or money anyways. Why? It’s simply because the child is most likely unruly and very forthcoming with his/her requests. This is the type of child who is stubborn and possibly disrespectful. But most of all, this child has the audacity to argue relentlessly with the parents. And how do the parents react? Because they don’t want to see the child unhappy or get into more trouble in school for example, they appease this child with gifts, money, whatever they have, anything they have, just to be in the child’s good books. It’s the children of such parents who end up wayward, as Nigerian parents call it.

Now, do you remotely remember that really good kid in class? Compare these two children. The good kid rarely ever got more than the basic necessities, with occasional gifts of course. But that’s where the favors ended. This child basically has to work for everything he/she receives and even with that, the parents still act stingy with their resources towards this child. Not stingy per say, but there is a more regulated flow of money and other resources towards this kid. This child is often sheltered to the maximum unlike the unruly child.

In most homes, children of these two calibers exist and it is up to the parents to use a proper sense of judgment when dealing with these two opposite personalities. Providing everything to the unruly child while denying the calm child of said resources creates tension and if not curbed, causes a divide among siblings. Funny enough, parents soon make the unruly child their favorite, consciously or unconsciously.

To be able to deal with these personalities, firstly, parents must understand that they in fact exist and secondly, work hand in hand with their children to address any behavioral issues. And while you’re at it, be reminded that if you think your child is so bad, someone else is wishing for their first child or a child like yours. Whether good or bad, children were intended to be a blessing to families and will stay same if well nurtured.

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